Archive for the ‘Boundaries’ Category

Off the Bookshelf-“Where to Draw the Line”   Leave a comment

What We’re Reading-Kandis Twa

I have to confess that I had to pick up this book a few times before I actually started reading it with any seriousness.  But due to my ongoing efforts to master boundaries, it wasn’t long before I was really into this book.  “Where to Draw the Line” by Anne Katherine.

I love it because there’s a lot of  practical advice about setting boundaries in circumstances that most of us encounter. Such as how to deal with a friend who is habitually late or navigating family functions (a tricky one!). The book also contains some really great information about recognizing boundary violations. I am actually into this book for the second time-so far what I have really learned is that there’s plenty to learn 🙂

“A boundary is a limit that promotes integrity. By the limits you set, you protect the integrity of your day, your energy and spirit, the health of your relationships, the pursuits of your heart.”

Anne Katherine


Boundaries-Mind Your Own Beeswax!   Leave a comment

Lessons I am Learning-Kandis Twa

Unsolicited assistance is called interference. That is a big one, worth reading again…unsolicited assistance or advice is called interference. It is a violation of another persons boundaries, it is dishonoring and it needs to stop.

I am a master of interference, so when I had this realization of what I was really doing I sat down with some of my family and I said to them, “I realize now that unsolicited advice is really called interference. If you ever wish for my assistance, please ask for it and I will gladly provide it. I will not interfere in your life anymore, because I know that you will be ok even without my advice.”

Yup, I actually said this and it really was a big wake up call for me to get to this epiphany, sort of knocked me of my pedestal of ‘everyone needs me and they couldn’t possibly function without my advice or assistance’.

I know that I have great information, really just ask me :), but I recognize that it is not necessarily someone else’s information. Let people have their journey! Instead of trying to  change others I realize it is way, way better to respect and honour everyone wherever their at.

So that’s it for my “advice” that is not really advice, just information- you may do with it as you will 😉

What do you think?…leave a comment below or send me an email

More about what I have learned on boundaries

Posted March 28, 2011 by Pure Leadership in Boundaries, Kandis Twa

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Boundaries-Part Three   1 comment

Why a Defense Doesn’t Work -Kandis Twa

So, finally we come to it….what is a boundary?

Well, I had no idea.

My first strategy in life was to have no boundaries at all because I didn’t even know that they existed. We call this strategy the self sacrificing doormat. Whether you know you have made this decision or not, you soon find out it doesn’t work so well. So, I adopted an entirely new strategy where a boundary became a line in the sand, an ultimatum, conditions, standards, or rules about how I was going to be treated. This sounded appropriate to me because I had experienced tears in my energy field when others had violated my boundaries and I soon decided that I was not about to let that happen again. In this new strategy I didn’t just have a fence around my boundaries; I had the Berlin Wall, complete with armed guards and sniffer dogs.

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Posted December 13, 2010 by Kandis Twa in Boundaries, Kandis Twa

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Boundaries-Some Science   Leave a comment

Your Auric Field and Boundaries-Kandis Twa

When someone has their boundaries violated,what does it look like in their energy field?

It looks like an explosion. You may understand this as holes in the auric field, and so it looks like a war zone. So, instead of these beautiful, waving fillagrees of waving light moving in all directions, they have a great big hole blasted through it. Sometimes many holes and everything looks shredded. If this field goes for a long time with out being repaired then you become very tired, you become anxious and you can even become deeply depressed and you just don’t want to do anything.

We can take a picture of this with a device called a GDV camera (Gas Discharge Visualization), which is being used in plenty of research here in North America for studying the human bio-field. What you see in the picture on the left is of a energy field that has not been repaired. The good news is that it does repair really quite easily (stay tuned for some techniques on how to do this in the Spiritual Toolbox section). When it has been repaired, the tears are gone, the picture of the energy is nice and solid and clear. Looking like the picture on the right. Notice the differences.

Repair is great, but I am working on prevention…more on those trials and tribulations coming up!

Boundaries-Part One

Boundaries-Part Two

Boundaries-Part Three

More by Kandis Twa

Posted December 9, 2010 by Kandis Twa in Boundaries, Kandis Twa

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Boundaries – Part Two   1 comment

Lessons I am Learning-Kandis Twa

We all know about limits when it comes to our physical bodies, and we are pretty good at being responsible for these bodies. We are cognizant that what we eat, drink and allow into our bodies will impact us. Most of us are becoming better and better at taking care of the physical, however, your physical body is only a very small piece of the real estate that is you. It is important to have an awareness of and take care of all of you. Because you are responsible (whether you know it or not) for everything that comes into your field of energy.  Now, this is not an unfamiliar concept. We hear about taking care of our spiritual selves, mentally and emotionally, but what does that actually mean? It sounds good, and it is correct, but let’s put some meat on the bones, because if I am going to be responsible for me (all of me), then I need to know where I end and another person begins. This is called a boundary.

Boundaries are important aren’t they? They establish what goes where, what stays inside, and what stays outside. They indicate a limit. Where oh where are our boundaries? Where have we put the fence posts of who we are? If someone violates a physical boundary, then there are well established consequences about that.  However, what do you do if someone violates your energetic boundaries? (If you have had that uncomfortable conversation with a ‘close talker’ you know what I am talking about 🙂 ). Did you even know that you had these boundaries or that you were responsible for establishing them? If you are a field of information, and you are then, you must establish boundaries. Because in the end you are responsible for what goes in to your field and what goes out. And just like a good farmer knows, there is no sense being upset that the cows got out of the field if you never bothered to put up a fence.

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Posted December 9, 2010 by Kandis Twa in Boundaries, Kandis Twa

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Boundaries-Part One   1 comment

Boundaries-Who Knew? Kandis Twa

Ok, so now that we have shared a little bit about who you really are from the perspective of your Light Bodies. I would like to share with you what this information has meant to me. One person, one perspective, from someone who is constantly learning. In essence, once I grasped the concept that I am more than just my

physical body what kinds of lessons – in a fall down and scrap your knee kind of way-have I learned about a topic called boundaries.

First of all a little background. What was most important for me to realize is that, we are much more than just your finite physical body….much more. You have several energetic bodies that extend well beyond the surface of your skin out hundreds of feet or even miles. These are the bodies that are processing information that I used to call epiphanies, intuition, and knowingness. What and how these specific things occur is actually much different, but you get the idea. Here is an example, you walk into a room full of people, see someone you have never meet on the opposite side of the room, and you instantly say to yourself ‘wow, that person has great energy, I would love to talk to them!’. Well, how do you know this? You have never met this person before. You didn’t have to go up to this person and actually touch them (which would be awkward) to get any information, you just knew. If you were just your physical body you would not be able to get this information. Well, in fact, you are field of information, a sophisticated field of energy, constantly gathering and exchanging information. We did several posts on your different Light Bodies, where you can read more about this concept.  For those of you who have got this one, read on!

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Posted December 2, 2010 by Kandis Twa in Boundaries, Kandis Twa

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